jason christ superstar

Steelers 53 man roster, as I see it after only 2 pre-season games

2010-08-23T12:20:00.000-05:00

I know it's way too early to guess what Tomlin and company will do and you never know if someone is going to get hurt or accused of rape or both- but lets have some fun.

QB- Byron Leftwich, Dennis Dixon, Charlie Batch
RB- Rashard Mendenhall, Issac Redman, Mewelde Moore, Frank Summers, Jonathan Dwyer
WR- Hines Ward, Mike Wallace, Antwaan Randle-El, Emmanuel Sanders, Arnaz Battle, Antonio Brown
TE- Heath Miller, Matt Spaeth, David Johnson
OL- Max Starks, Chris Kemoeatu, Maurkice Pouncey, Trai Essex, Jonathan Scott, Justin Hartwig, Ramon Foster, Tony Hills, Doug Legursky
DL- Aaron Smith, Casey Hampton, Brett Keisel, Ziggy Hood, Chris Hoke, Nick Eason
LB- James Harrison, James Farrior, Lawrence Timmons, LaMarr Woodley, Larry Foote, Keyaron Fox, Jason Worlids, Thaddues Gibson
CB- Ike Taylor, Bryant McFadden, Keenan Lewis, Joe Burnett, William Gay, Crezdon Butler
DB- Troy Polamalu, Ryan Clark, Will Allen, Ryan Mundy
ST- Jeff Reed, Daniel Sepulveda, Greg Warren

Now you probably notice Ben isn't on the roster. He won't play until week 5 and does not count against the 53-man team. I believe when he does return the Steelers will have to let Leftwich or Batch go and simply deal with eating the salary.

Had to grab this from Blog n Gold

2010-08-01T11:42:00.000-05:00

Critics are already questioning Lawrence Timmons' unorthodox offseason training and supplement regimen.

The vast spectrum that is politics

2010-07-26T19:31:00.000-05:00

So by now I'm sure everyone has heard the news about the goof balls in Bell, California (a very small town outside LA). The long and short: City Manager Robert Rizzo, Assistant City Manager Angela Spaccia, and Police Chief Randy Adams had a combined salary of more than $1.6 million. I say had because they've all been fired now. Yes this little tiny town where the average income is 35k, three civil workers had some of the highest salaries in the country for their respective job. Take City Manager Bobby Rizzo, he was making 800k!!! The President of the United States is only paid 400k. The town's mayor, Oscar Hernandez, made an ass of himself as he tried to justify the salaries. He won't be seeking re-election by the way.

Now to the crazy side of politics, the honest side: Jean Gregoire Sagbo became the first Black man elected in Russia. He is now one of ten Novozavidovo’s municipal councilors. Sagbo never wanted to run for office, his neighbors had to beg him. Jean Gregoire would even use his own money to clean up his apartment building and street. “Novozavidovo is dying,” Sagbo said in an interview in the ramshackle municipal building. “This is my home, my town. We can’t live like this.”

“His skin is black but he is Russian inside,” said Vyacheslav Arakelov, the mayor. “The way he cares about this place, only a Russian can care.”

Damn fine man.

Steelers Mock Draft 3.0- Final version

2010-04-22T11:20:00.000-05:00

I can hardly wait for 7:30pm tonight. A touch on the sad side because I know we still have many months before an actual kickoff, but this will have to do for now. This will be an interesting year for the Steelers: traded away one of the leagues best wide receiver and our franchise quarterback is going to miss at least the first 4 games and perhaps most of training camp because he's an idiot. Having said that, I do not believe the Steelers will trade Big Ben, unless they really get a nice deal, nor will they draft a QB or WR tonight. Dennis Dixon is quite capable of winning games for this team if it's his team and his offense. If Ben misses training camp, it will be. We do need a receiver, but not a glaring need. Offensive line, middle linebacker, and cornerback should be Pittsburgh's first 3 picks. Of course, we usually pick best available...unless there's a punter we want to trade up for.

Rd 1, Pick 18 (18) Rolando McClain, ILB, Alabama- If he's sitting there it will be way too hard to pass on him. Be next year he start inside with Timmons with Foote or Farrior as the main backup. Previous pick, Maurkice Pouncey.
Rd 2, Pick 20 (52) Tyson Alualu, DE/DT, California- He doesn't fill a need but again the value is too much to pass. This is like Polamalu but much much larger. Hopefully we know how to use him and not let him walk away to New England like Mike Vrabel. Previous pick, Dexter McCluster.
Rd 3, Pick 18 (82) A.J. Jefferson, CB, Fresno State- Should add some competition to the crowded unknown secondary. It also appears the Steelers won't resign Townsend since someone else is wearing his number #26. Previous pick, Jamar Chaney.
Rd 4, Pick 18 (116) Blair White, WR, Michigan State- Good value here. Previous pick, same.
Rd 5, Pick 20 (151) Mitch Petrus, G, Arkansas- Don't we have like 15 guards? Why won't someone step up? Previous pick, Derek Hardman.
Rd 5, Pick 24 (155) LeGarrette Blount, RB, Oregon- I like him as a power runner, but didn't he punch some kid during a game? Previous pick, Anthony Dixon.
Rd 5, Pick 33 (164) Mike Tepper, OT, California- Adding to the stable of lineman for the practice squad. Previous pick, same.
Rd 5, Pick 35 (166) Ekom Udofia, NT, Stanford- Great value here, he can replace Hampton in 2 years. Previous pick, same.
Rd 6, Pick 19 (188) Jeff Byers, C/G, USC- We can hope he last longer than A.Q Shipley. Previous pick, Donovan Warren.
Rd 7, Pick 35 (242) Chris Maragos, FS, Wisconsin- Steelers need depth at safety even with the resigning of Clark. Previous pick, Adrian Tracy.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Happy draft watching.

The 419

2010-04-21T15:55:00.000-05:00

So I'm on this website for bassoon players (I know, pretty damn cool), and I receive the following message:

The following message was sent to you by dora ture at BassoonProfiles.com:

From Ms. Dora Ture,

It is my pleasure to write you after going through your profile i decided to contact you to help me out of my problem, however is not mandatory nor will i in any manner compel you to honour against your will,but first Iet me introduce myself to you.

My name is Ms. Dora Ture, Am 21 years of age, I am a student of high school before I lost my parents in a car accident last year, so I have been out from school and been looking for a sincere person that I will trust and love.

I am the only child of my late parents and that has made me to run away from our family house because my uncles are after my life to take away my inheritance which my late father left for me in a Bank here in Cote D'ivoire. My entire dream is to find somebody that I can trust with my future life and inheritance and also who will be able to invest it wisely in any lucrative business.

Nobody knows about the inheritance which worth $7.5 million dollars in Cash deposited in a Bank here with my name as the next of kin. And I want you to also keep it very confidential till we can be able to transfer this money from the Bank here to your country and I will fly to join you immediately for future plans of continue my education once a join you in your country.

I have to trust somebody to save my future and that is why I am trusting you now I want you to understand my critical situation and give me the love and assistance that I need, so that I will have a better life and also enjoy my inheritance with you. I will tell you more about myself as soon as I hear back from you, your interest to assist me and also build more trust to be able to have a better understanding. please reply through my private email for my security reason ( dora.ture03@yahoo.fr )

I look forward for your urgent response, thank you and God bless you.

Best regard
Ms. Dora Ture

Fun Hypothetical

2010-04-16T18:57:00.000-05:00

The St. Louis Rams trade their number one pick in the 2010 draft to Pittsburgh for quarterback Ben Roethlisberger. What do you do with pick 1 and pick 18?

I would build the middle of both lines and draft Ndamukong Suh and Maurkice Pouncey respectively. I know the logical thing would involve taking Bradford at 1, let Charlie Batch teach him while Dixon starts the season. However, with a spring training as the number one and 3 seasons under his belt, Dixon should be able to be a real franchise QB. That said, if we wanted to draft a QB we could wait and pick up John Skelton or Tony Pike in the 5th round. Both guys need at least 3-4 years of work before they can step on a field but they have potential.

Steelers Mock Draft 2.0

2010-04-13T20:52:00.002-05:00

Well, with all manure that's hit the fan in Pittsburgh the last few days, I believe it's obvious the draft board has changed slightly. Instead of trying to guess what the boys will do next week, the following picks contain what I would do- much like my popular braclet, WWJD.

Rd 1, Pick 18 (18) Maurkice Pouncey, C, Florida- It's not exciting to draft a lineman in the 1st round, but it needs to be done. This kid can start at right guard move to center in a year or two. Previous pick, Brandon Graham, OLB.
Rd 2, Pick 20 (52) Dexter McCluster, RB/WR/KR, Ole Miss- I know it's crazy not to grab a top corner, but I still have faith in the two guys we drafted last year, Lewis and Burnett. McCluster can return, and give Mendenhall a breather every now and then. Previous pick, Cam Thomas, NT.
Rd 3, Pick 18 (82) Jamar Chaney,ILB, Mississippi State- We need some young legs at the backer position. Bring Foote back was huge, but Chaney should be able to learn from the best and replace Farrior in 2 years. Previous pick, Chris Cook, CB.
Rd 4, Pick 18 (116) Blair White, WR, Michigan State- Holmes. Jets. Sweed? Previous pick, Ed Wang, OT.
Rd 5, Pick 20 (151) Derek Hardman, OT, Eastern Kentucky- The first of many picks in the 5th round. Should provide competition along the front line. Previous pick, Anthony Dixon, RB.
Rd 5, Pick 24 (155) Anthony Dixon, RB, Mississippi State- I think we'll still pick him up. It's a crowded backfield now. Previous pick belonged to Jets.
Rd 5, Pick 33 (164) Mike Tepper, OT, California- More beef, better pick it up Tony Hills. Previous pick, Myron Lewis, FS.
Rd 5, Pick 35 (166) Ekom Udofia, NT, Stanford- Great value here, he can replace Hampton in 2 years. Previous pick, Shawn Lauvao, OG.
Rd 6, Pick 19 (188) Donovan Warren, FS, Michigan- Good size and should be able to help when Troy beats himself again. Previous pick, Ted Larsen, C.
Rd 7, Pick 18 (225) Ben Burney, CB, Colorado- Like I said, I have faith in the guys we drafted last year, but hey, why not. Kid has good strength and his stock is on the up. Previous pick, John Conner, FB.
Rd 7, Pick 35 (242) Adrian Tracy, OLB, William & Mary- Tomlin looking out for talented alums. We could also use some depth, Silverback is only a few years younger than me. Previous pick, Micah Johnson, ILB.

New Blog

2010-04-10T15:27:00.000-05:00

So after months of talking about it I finally started another blog about fitness and overall well being. While I will give some workout guidelines, my main focus will be education. Explaining injuries, joint functions, muscle imbalances, and other what nots. I'll do my best to answer questions posed by readers and my clients. I plan on updating it at least once a week. So sit back and enjoy STRONG LIFE.

Steelers mock draft

2010-04-01T11:01:00.002-05:00

Well it's that time again for me to throw darts at my draft board and guess what Kevin and Mike are going to do to win me another Superbowl. As usual, I go for need and best available.

Rd 1, Pick 18 (18) Brandon Graham OLB Michigan- This young man is Lamarr Woodley. He'll add nice depth to linebacking core, and will eventually take over for Silverback. I wouldn't be surprised to see Kyle Wilson of Boise State here.
Rd 2, Pick 20 (52) Cam Thomas NT North Carolina- We have Hampton and Hoke, but it'd be nice to have someone in their 20s.
Rd 3, Pick 18 (82) Chris Cook CB Virginia- I always have to pick at least 1 player from UVA and I've been wrong every time. However, if he does slip to the 3rd round he'd be a steal.
Rd 4, Pick 18 (116) Ed Wang OT Virginia Tech- He's a solid player and his stock is rising but he'll need at least 2 years of work.
Rd 5, Pick 20 (151) Anthony Dixon RB Mississippi State- He's a big boy and should be a nice back up to Mendenhall.
Rd 5, Pick 33 (164) Myron Lewis FS Vanderbilt- We need a long term solution at saftey.
Rd 5, Pick 35 (166) Shawn Lauvao OG Arizona State- Fresh meat. Shawn has the skill and upside to push Urbik into the line up.
Rd 6, Pick 19 (188Ted Larsen C North Carolina State- Should be able to take over at center in 2 years.
Rd 7, Pick 18 (225) John Conner FB Kentucky- We need a fullback. Yes Frank The Tank should be better next year, but Conner is the real deal.
Rd 7, Pick 35 (242) Micah Johnson ILB Kentucky- Very strong man. Will be great on special teams and a solid back up once Farrior retires.

Well there it is. I'll do one more a few days before the draft.

Quiz: BBC Style

2010-03-28T12:47:00.001-05:00

Goodness me it's been quite awhile. Wife and I moved, Baby turned one, and I'm lazy now that we have cable television for the first time. No surprise I scored a two.

Quiz: BBC Style

2010-01-22T15:27:00.001-05:00

Two!! I could only answer two correctly?!

Steelers Off-season

2010-01-05T09:24:00.002-05:00

So my beloved Steelers are in their off-season due to an off season. Finishing at a disappointing 9-7 after starting hot at 6-2 and tied for 1st place in the AFC North. We all know what happened and now we pick 18th in the 2010 draft. Don't look for too many personal changes, B.A will most likely be OC again (which I have no problem with, I just wish that we used Dixon and a fullback when we try to run for short yardage and avoid having our wide outs throw deep balls across field into double coverage...), Dick should return, and I see no changes on the O-line (Stapleton may have a tough time getting his job back).

So here are a few prospects that the Steelers may target in the early rounds:

Round One: If we don't sign Casey Hampton the Steelers have no choice but to draft a NT. The best ones available after Ndamukong Suh (best player in the draft) are Dan Williams and Terrence Cody. I prefer Williams although he's not a true nose tackle, but he's got the size and strength and he wouldn't have to start right away. Cody fits the Steelers better but I worry about his 365 pounds and overall health.

Now if we resign Hampton the Steelers will look at LB Brandon Spikes, Florida; ILB Rolando McCLain, Alabama; and SS Taylor Mays, USC. I really like Mays but he's not NFL ready unless he learns how to tackle and cover receivers. He's more like that special kid in gym class that would go all out in every activity throwing his body around without mercy.

If the Steelers were daring they might make a move and trade up to get Saftey Eric Berry the junior from Tennessee.

Round Two: Expect defense again. The best available at pick 50 should be: Patrick Robinson, CB, Florida State; Arthur Jones, DE/DT, Syracuse; and Chad Jones, FS, LSU.

Weekend Update

2009-12-13T08:26:00.002-05:00

I know, I know, I've been lazy since I returned from Poland. At any rate here's what's going on in the world today:

Islamic militants free Milf's from a Philippines prison. No joke. About 30 gunmen broke into the Isabela City jail to free some Milfs. Milf of course stands for Moro Islamic Liberation Front. This jail apparently has a history of jail breaks. Five years ago, 53 inmates overpowered their guards using smuggled firearms and fled the prison- They might want to change their security tactics.

Houston, Texas elects an openly gay mayor. Yes, I just said: Houston, Texas, elect, and gay all in the same sentence. Annise Parker, the current city controller, won 53.6% in the run-off election, beating fellow Democrat Gene Locke, a former city attorney. Congratulations Ms. Parker you just won a $130m budget deficit!!

This just in, exercise does
not relieve period pain. Gross.

Stay tuned. I solved the Health Care problem. Will post solution once you've had a chance to guess.

Love it

2009-10-09T18:12:00.001-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

quiz: bbc style

2009-10-02T07:33:00.000-05:00

Another four. I better get my learn on.

Why Pittsburgh? - CNBC.com

2009-09-24T09:23:00.001-05:00

Why Pittsburgh? - CNBC.com

Shared via AddThis

health care

2009-09-23T10:17:00.001-05:00

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

quiz: bbc style

2009-09-18T05:39:00.001-05:00

got a 4, not bad for being out of the loop for 2 weeks.

i dream of football

2009-08-31T20:34:00.002-05:00

so i had my first fantasy football draft last night after a uva softball game in which i went 3-4 with an inside the park homerun (bloody knees from multiple slides caused by 2 over thrown balls), and two singles. i also pitched stepping down in the final inning with a 12-4 lead. thank you.

then came the football. it's a league i don't really care for i must say, mainly because there's no money involved and aside from marc (of white nerdy wonks fame) i don't know anyone in it. 12 owners, 2 keeper picks from last year, and a shitload of slots to fill. here's my draft:

Philip Rivers
(SD - QB)

Antonio Bryant
(TB - WR)

Chris Chambers
(SD - WR)

Hakeem Nicks
(NYG - WR)

Maurice Jones-Drew
(Jac - RB) This player is a keeper.

Steven Jackson
(StL - RB)

Jason Witten
(Dal - TE) This player is a keeper.

Owen Daniels
(Hou - TE)

Knowshon Moreno
(Den - RB)

Deion Branch
(Sea - WR)

Ted Ginn Jr.
(Mia - WR)

Percy Harvin
(Min - WR)

Mark Clayton
(Bal - WR)

Laurence Maroney
(NE - RB)

Joe Flacco
(Bal - QB)

Joey Galloway
(NE - WR)

Mewelde Moore
(Pit - RB)

Carnell Williams
(TB - RB)

Jason Elam
(Atl -K)

Minnesota
(Min - DEF)

Seattle
(Sea - DEF)

Troy Polamalu
(Pit - S)

Aaron Kampman
(GB - LB,DE)

quiz: bbc style

2009-08-28T12:58:00.001-05:00

ouch. i only managed a three.

mirco-oops

2009-08-26T10:43:00.002-05:00

software giant mircosoft is trying to figure out how an on-line version of it's ad was photo shopped. the original version shows three employees, the middle one being a black man; in it's polish version the black man's face is replaced by a white man's face- note the man's hand is still black.

i find this very amusing since i will be in poland for two weeks...perhaps i should get some "work" done just to be on the safe side.

pittgirl

2009-08-21T19:42:00.002-05:00

as most of the world knows by now, pittgirl is a real person with a name and face. cnn's the coming out stories of anonymous bloggers began and ended with the witty young lady. i won't say much except that i'm sorry she lost her job due to something as innocent as a blog. it's not like her blog was a safe haven for neo-fascist terrorists, which can be found at glenn beck's site. and why did people want to know who she was so badly? it was so much more fun not knowing if she was a really hot chick, a fat old guy, al gore, or even my mother. my beloved pittsburgh, you ruined a good thing. now get that woman a job!

the steelers 53 man roster

2009-08-15T14:57:00.002-05:00

after only one pre-season game i've made up my mind on the final roster spots for our steelers football team. barring no injuries this will be the 2009 steelers:

quarterbacks ben roethlisberger, charlie batch, dennis dixon.
wide receivers hines ward,santonio holmes, limas sweed, mike wallace, shaun mcdonald.
running backs willie parker, rashard mendenhall, mewelde moore, carey davis, issac redman.
tight ends heath miller, matt spaeth, sean mchugh.
o-line max starks, chris kemoeatu, justin hartwig, trai essex, willie colon, darnell stapleton, tony hills, kraig urbik, doug legursky, ramon foster.
d-line brett keisel, casey hampton, aaron smith, travis kirschke, chris hoke, ziggy hood, nick eason.
linebackers james harrison, lawrence timmons, james farrior, lamarr woodley, patrick bailey, keyaron fox, arnold harrison, bruce davis.
cornerbacks ike taylor, william gay, deshea townsend, keenan lewis, joe burnett.
safties troy polamalu, ryan clark, tyrone carter, anthony madison.
special teams jeff reed, daniel sepulveda, greg warren.

practice squad a.q. shipley, dallas baker, frank summers, ryan mundy, jason cappizzi, scott paxson, david johnson, ra'shon harris.

health care around the world

2009-08-15T06:52:00.001-05:00

quiz: bbc style

2009-08-14T05:23:00.001-05:00

a two!!! i'm hungover.

tmi thursdays: got vag?

2009-08-13T10:11:00.003-05:00

it's been awhile since i've done this, but how could i possibly top my first tmi about wiping protocol?

so, ever since my daughter was born 5 months ago i've changed many diapers, given many baths, and changed many clothes...which is all good. my wife has been a champ breastfeeding on a daily basis and easily spending 20 hours a day with the child...which is all good. when i get home from work at various hours throughout the morning my wife is usually still in bed sans pjs...which is all good.

what i'm trying to say is, the past 5 months i've seen a lot of vagina.

for more tmi check out lilu

steeler game baby!!!

2009-08-13T09:36:00.003-05:00

it's been a long wait since we last played 6 months ago. i've been passing the time watching highlights of games on nfl.com. i need to find a way to kill the next 10 hours, i suppose i could take of my 5 month old daughter, or finish a case studying for work, or write that supplement for oxygen magazine, or practice that chopin prelude, or practice scales on the guitar, or clean the house, or workout, or continue writing that screenplay. i could do some of that stuff but i think i'll take a nap and re-watch the superbowl again.

at any rate, here's what i'm looking for during tonight's game:

- the first team staying healthy for the 5 minutes they're on the field and ben staying upright.
- timmons making his first start.
- the two rookies at center, legursky and shipley.
- can mendenhall run the ball.
- can sepulveda punt pain free.
- the two rookies returning kickoffs and punts, wallace and burnett.
- can isaac redman take that first step towards a true short yardage back.
- can bruce davis do anything.
- how will batch's shoulder hold up.
- dixon's ability to read the defense and move the chains.
- can ziggy get jiggy.

quiz: bbc style

2009-07-17T04:07:00.000-05:00

damn, my best chance for a seven and i got a four.

odd news

2009-07-16T08:46:00.002-05:00

-a new hampshire man was charged 23,148,855,308,184,500 dollars for a pack of cigarettes, needless to say he was shocked when he checked his online bank statement. that's 23 quadrillion if you couldn't figure that out.

-in bar harbor, maine a man used a beer to convince a drunk burglar to leave his home. police caught the intoxicated 22 year-old a few hours later trying to break into a car.

-in milwaukee, a teen told cops he was too drunk to drive home from a dave matthews band concert so he slept in his car. the cops told the kid to move his car cause the lot was being cleared and then they arrested him for drunk driving. one court found him guilty while another overturned the decision due to entrapment.

ex nfl quarterback, steve mcnair found dead

2009-07-04T19:20:00.002-05:00

what the fuck? 36 year old steve mcnair, former nemesis of my pittsburgh steelers, was found dead saturday afternoon with a gun shot wound to his head in an apartment in downtown nashville. plaxico burress cannot be reached for comment.

quiz: bbc style

2009-06-19T09:55:00.000-05:00

a five!! damn skippy.

father's day

2009-06-19T09:37:00.004-05:00

so sunday will be my first father's day as a father. i don't really feel it yet, perhaps due to the fact that the child can't say "daddy" yet, or perhaps because i spend my days doing whatever the wife says and trying really really hard not to drop the baby (which i did again about an hour ago...not a far drop...but she did bump her head on the crib) so instead i will view sunday for what i've truly been these past 15 weeks, pack mule day.

yes the intrepid yet beloved pack-mule, but how much do we really know about this sexy beast? let's ask russ:

pack mules are born followers. a pack mule will follow a horse or another mule almost anywhere.
pack mules carry a load without a lot of swaying and lunging.
pack mules know their job and want to do it.
pack mules generally have a 20-30% longer useful life than pack horses.
pack mules are easier keepers than pack horses for the most part.
last, but not least, they are cute. hell yeah.

so to all the first time father's out there, happy pack mule day!

quiz: bbc style

2009-06-12T09:02:00.001-05:00

another four.

DMB live at Beacon Theatre

2009-06-02T12:02:00.000-05:00

quiz: bbc style

2009-05-29T17:48:00.000-05:00

another four.

Do we really need to bare arms?

2009-05-28T06:29:00.001-05:00

US toddler shoots younger brother
A three-year-old girl in the US state of California has accidentally shot her younger brother dead with a gun found in her home, say police.

The girl is believed to have found the .45 calibre semi-automatic handgun under her parents' bed.

Her two-year-old brother was taken to Kern County hospital with a critical chest wound but later died.

Police investigating the incident and said the children's mother was at home at the time.

Police Sgt Greg Terry said police would be looking at whether the weapon had been safely and securely secured.

"It's so important that if you're going to have firearms in your possession, make sure they're stored safely, so that incidents like this don't occur," local media quoted Sgt Terry as saying.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/americas/8071512.stm

quiz: bbc style

2009-05-08T05:55:00.001-05:00

i got the first four correct and then failed the rest.

EMERGENCY

2009-05-07T14:29:00.003-05:00

well, okay, not really...but the matter does require my utmost attention and fortitude- the wife just bought three tickets to poland so babca helen can see her granddaughter. cool beans, right. my first trip outside the united states of america, get to fly non-stop to berlin and then drive to dobroszyce (yeah exactly). so far so good.

the problem- we're leaving on the 2nd of september and returning on the 17th. the steelers opening kickoff is the 10th!!! 8:30pm on NBC.

the emergency- got to find a place to watch the game.

the problem- aside from not being able to speak polish without the aide of my wife, googling "steeler bars in poland" gets you this tag:

This may be good for the creation of Kiev-bars throughout Europe, much like there are Steelers bars throughout the United States, ... deploy missiles near the Baltics and Poland in response to the Bush administration's ABM deployment. ...

at any rate i am on the case. the good thing is that it's the first game of the season on NBC so that should draw some appeal to the world, the not-so-good news is that the game will start at 2:30am in poland.

Who is on UK 'least wanted' list?

2009-05-05T06:22:00.000-05:00

Sixteen people banned from entering the UK since October last year for fostering extremism or hatred have been named by the Home Office for the first time.

A total of 22 people have been excluded in that time, although the identities of six of them have been withheld by the government in the "public interest". The named individuals are:

ABDULLAH QADRI AL AHDAL

Preacher. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by seeking to foment, justify or glorify terrorist violence in furtherance of particular beliefs and fostering hatred that might lead to inter-community violence.

YUNIS AL ASTAL

Preacher and Hamas MP. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by seeking to foment, justify or glorify terrorist violence in furtherance of particular beliefs and to provoke others to terrorist acts.

STEPHEN DONALD BLACK

Former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard who set up racist website Stormfront. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by promoting serious criminal activity and fostering hatred that might lead to inter-community violence in the UK.

WADGY ABD EL HAMIED MOHAMED GHONEIM

A prolific speaker and writer. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by seeking to foment, justify or glory terrorist violence in furtherance of particular beliefs and to provoke others to commit terrorist acts.

ERIC GLIEBE

Neo-Nazi. Has made web-radio broadcasts in which he vilifies certain ethnic groups and encourages the download and distribution of provocative racist leaflets and posters.

Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by justifying terrorist violence, provoking others to commit serious crime and fostering racial hatred.

MIKE GUZOVSKY

Jewish militant. Leader of a violent group and actively involved with military training camps.

Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by seeking to foment, justify or glorify terrorist violence in furtherance of particular beliefs and to provoke others to terrorist acts.

SAFWAT HIJAZI

Television preacher. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by glorifying terrorist violence.

NASR JAVED

Kashmiri militant group leader. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by seeking to foment, justify or glorify terrorist violence in furtherance of particular beliefs.

ABDUL ALI MUSA

Muslim activist, previously known as Clarence Reams. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by fomenting and glorifying terrorist violence in furtherance of his particular beliefs and seeking to provoke others to terrorist acts.

FRED WALDRON PHELPS SNR & SHIRLEY PHELPS-ROPER

American pastor and leading spokesman of Westboro Baptist Church. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by fostering hatred that might lead to inter-community violence in the UK.

The 79-year-old and his daughter are barred for their anti-gay comments. Both have picketed the funerals of Aids victims and have claimed the deaths of American soldiers are a punishment for US tolerance of homosexuality.

SAMIR AL QUNTAR

Hezbollah militant. Spent three decades in prison for killing four soldiers and a four-year-old girl.

Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by seeking to foment, justify or glorify terrorist violence in furtherance of particular beliefs and to provoke others to terrorist acts.

ARTUR RYNO & RAVEL SKACHEVSKY

Leaders of a violent Russian skinhead gang that beat migrants and posted films of their attacks on the internet, and committed 20 racially motivated murders.

Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by fomenting serious criminal activity and seeking to provoke others to serious criminal acts.

Both are currently in prison.

AMIR SIDDIQUE

Preacher. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by fomenting terrorist violence in furtherance of particular beliefs.

MICHAEL ALAN WEINER (ALSO KNOWN AS MICHAEL SAVAGE)

Controversial daily radio talk-show host. Considered to be engaging in unacceptable behaviour by seeking to provoke others to serious criminal acts and fostering hatred which might lead to inter-community violence.

His views on immigration, Islam, rape and autism have caused great offence in the US.

Story from BBC NEWS:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/2/hi/uk_news/8033319.stm

quiz: bbc style

2009-05-01T05:26:00.001-05:00

a four. i blame my low score on n1h1 influenza a.

steelers draft review

2009-04-27T06:09:00.004-05:00

all i got to say is wow. it was a very exciting draft...well the first 3 rounds anyway. i was in stratford doing a play but i was able to watch the nfl network on my new palm treo off stage while following along in the script as to not miss my next entrance.

the first surprise for me was tyson jackson going to kc and curry heading to seattle...then of course the jets trade. wild stuff. al davis' raiders took a player with the 7th pick overall whom would have been there at the 39th pick. and in true wft fashion, mr. davis out crazies himself by selecting a 2nd round pick he could have signed as an undrafted free agent. seriously, who is mike mitchell? but let us discuss our reason for living.

ziggy hood. defensive end, 6'3 300 pounds. that's a big dude. i truly love this pick, i know my last mock had us reaching for the kid from usc, but why reach in the 1st round, right al davis? ziggy won't get play right away due to the awesomeness of our front 3 but he should be able to rotate with our big boys to help keep them fresh. he'll eventually take over for smith in 2-3 years.

we tried to trade up in the 2nd to get a top o-lineman but it didn't happen, so we gave denver our 2nd and 4th round picks for their 2 3rd rounds, giving us 3 picks in the 3rd. very nice.

kraig urbik. right guard, 6'5 328 pounds. really big kid. i love this pick too! he's not ready to start but he should be able to learn the system quickly, and maybe he'll push stapleton to tighten his game. once urbik gets his footwork down, he'll be solid.

mike wallace. wide receiver, 5'11.5 200 pounds. how al davis passed on the 2nd fastest receiver in the draft i'll never know. mike will start day one returning kicks and punts. once he learns how to run routes he'll compete with sweed for the 3 spot.

keenan lewis. cornerback. 6'0 208 pounds. a solid big corner like ike taylor. he and wallace went to high school together and are bff. he should have no trouble making the team but will most likely play special teams since we just signed a vertern corner that could start instead of william gay.

joe burnett. corner back. 5'9 192. short, stocky, and kinda slow not the kind of attributes you'd want for a nfl corner, but he somehow always makes a big play. he's also a solid return man. i'm not sure if he'll be able to make the team, probably practice squad.

frank the tank!! fullback. 5'9 242 pounds. a true short yardage back with surprisingly soft hands. not much of a blocker though. he'll have to learn how to pick up blitzes better. but he runs hard and low. he'll make the team.

ra'shon harris. defensive end, 6'4 298 pounds. a solid player that has a lot of work to do between now and training camp if he wants to be more than a practice squader. i like his play making ability so i hope he learns to be consistent.

david johnson. tight end. 6'2 260 pounds. one of the shortest t-ends i've ever seen. in all fairness though, he's really a h-back. he can block very well and should be used as a fullback.

overall i was pleased with our draft, we addressed all of our needs and we still will pick up solid undrafted kids. next up, training camp.

quiz: bbc style

2009-04-24T09:14:00.000-05:00

a frickin three.

steelers mock draft 4.0- seriously the last one

2009-04-23T10:26:00.002-05:00

Three little birds sat outside my window and said we need a nose tackle.

Round One Pick 32- Fili Moala, DE/DT, USC

Round Two Pick 64- Lawrence Sidbury, DE, Richmond

Round Three Pick 96- Herman Johnson, G, LSU

Round Four Pick 132- A.Q. Shipley, C, Penn State

Round Five Pick 168- Deon Butler, WR, Penn State

Round Five Pick 169- Nate Davis, QB, Ball State

Round Six Pick 205- Bradley Fletcher, CB, Iowa

Round Seven Pick 226- Kevin Ellison, SS, USC

Round Seven Pick 241- Conredge Collins, FB, Pittsburgh

steelers mock draft 3.0

2009-04-18T17:31:00.008-05:00

Okay, this will most likely be the final Steeler mock before the draft next week. Before I go through all 7 rounds let us take a look at the 30 college prospects that met with the team the past month:

A.Q. Shipley Center Penn State, Scott McKillop Linebacker Pittsburgh, C.J. Davis Guard Pittsburgh, Mike Thomas Wide Receiver Arizona, Ra'Shon Harris Defensive Tackle Oregon, Alex Mack Center California, Fili Moala Defensive Tackle Southern California, Herman Johnson Guard LSU, Phil Loadholt Tackle Oklahoma, Joe Burnett Cornerback Central Florida, Frank “The Tank” Summers Fullback UNLV, Don Carey Cornerback Norfolk State, Richard Quinn Tight End North Carolina, Lawrence Sidbury Linebacker Richmond, Donald Washington Cornerback Ohio State, Sherrod Martin Cornerback Troy, Vontae Davis Cornerback Illinois, Max Unger Center Oregon, Dorell Scott Defensive Tackle Clemson, Sammie Lee Hill Defensive Tackle Stillman, Louis Vasquez Guard Texas Tech, Alphonso Smith Cornerback Wake Forest, Louis Delmas Safety Western Michigan, Jarron Gilbert Defensive End San Jose State, Jason Cherry Wide Receiver, Louisiana-Lafayette Brandon Long Defensive End Michigan State, Andy Levitre Guard Oregon State, Nate Davis Quarterback Ball State, Spence Adkins Linebacker Miami, Travis Shelton Wide Receiver Temple, Louis Murphy Wide Receiver Florida, Mike Mickens Cornerback Cincinnati, Ellis Lankster Cornerback West Virginia

Round One (32) Alex Mack, C California

I've been struggling with this first pick for a few reasons: I don't think any rookie lineman will start next season, and I think the Steelers will trade this pick. Mack should be a pro-bowl center in a year or two no doubt, but we could pick up a few pro-bowl centers in the later rounds. The D-Line talent is shallow in this draft and i wouldn't be surprised if Pittsburgh trades back for Fili Moala in the second round.

But remember last year? Mendenhall should have been off the board by the time we picked, so perhaps Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers or Eben Britton, T, Arizona are sitting around.

Round Two (64) Duke Robinson, G, Oklahoma

I think we should take Paul Kruger here if he's available, especially if we go O-line in the first. It's also possible we'd reach for Lawrence Sidbury.

Round Three (96) Alex Magee, DT, Purdue

Pittsburgh will have so many options here because I feel the following players will be available: Coye Francies, CB, San Jose State, Victor Harris, CB, Virginia Tech, and Jamon Meredith, OL, South Carolina. I'm sticking with Magee here though he will have to move to End, or gain 10-15 pounds.

Round Four (132) Asher Allen, CB, Georgia

We will be so frickin' happy if Allen is sitting pretty here in the 4th round. This young man could easily replace Townsend in the Nickle if need be. He can also return. He's a little on the short side, 5'9.5, but he's a very solid football player and a huge value in this round.

Round Five (168) Andrew Gardner, OT, Georgia Tech

He'll have to move to right tackle at the next level, he's a touch slow, but a very good and consistent lineman.

Round Five (169) John Phillips, TE, Virginia

Casey Hampton is 32 and the big nose tackle from Temple, Terrance Knighten, would make more since here, but this man is really suited for a one gap 4-3 defense. So I feel the need to push for more Virginia players in Pittsburgh. Think about a 4 tight end formation on the goal line!!...I'm joking Bruce!! Don't even pencil it in!

Round Six (205) Frank Summers, FB, UNLV

Frank the Tank!!!! The Steelers released my guy Gary Russell with no explanation. However, we still have 55 running backs: Willie Parker, Carey Davis, Ryan Powdrell (I'm not making him up), Rashard Mendenhall, Mewelde Moore, Justin Vincent, Stefan Logan, and you can even throw in Sean McHugh. So what's one more.

Round Seven (226) Johnny Knox, WR, Abilene Christian

This kid can run!! I highly doubt he'll be around past the 6th round but it's my mock. Everyone says we need another receiver but I honestly believe that Sweed, Martin Nance, and Dallas Baker will turn some heads next season.

Round Seven (241) Reshard Langford, S, Vanderbilt

Really smart player with great leadership skills. Will need to tackle better at the next level, but I can see him doing much more than A. Smith.

quiz:bbc style

2009-04-17T07:11:00.001-05:00

a four. not great. sean, i bet you score a 3.

snake attacks man- man bites snake-snakes on a motherf@#king plane

2009-04-16T06:31:00.003-05:00

farm worker ben nyaumbe was attacked by a 13ft long python while working in the malindi area of kenya's indian ocean coast. monty wrapped the farmer in its coils and dragged him up the tree. mr. nyaumbe bite the snake's tail and was able to reach his cell phone (the farmer's not the python's)and call for help. police arrived and were able to get the two out of the tree and capture the snake.

the police said they took the snake to a sanctuary in Malindi town but it escaped overnight and will most likely head to mogadishu to join the pirates (real pirates not my crappy baseball team).

"we are still seriously looking for the snake," said officer supt katam. "we want to arrest the snake because any one of us could fall a victim."

in other snake news- snakes escape flight on quantas flight. four baby pythons escaped from their containers during a flight from alice springs to melbourne (that's in australia). samuel l jackson could not be reached for comment.

rugby- i still don't get it

2009-04-13T14:41:00.001-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

quiz: bbc style

2009-04-10T07:48:00.001-05:00

a five. beat that.

steelers mock draft 2.0

2009-04-06T06:09:00.002-05:00

okay, here i go with all seven rounds of the draft, i was simply waiting for the cutler trade and for burress to be cut...and for donte to go to jail.

the steelers have plenty of needs but have no need to pick up an instant starter, as high hopes fall on the repaired shoulder of last year's 1st round draft pick and tackles in waiting hills and capizzi. so like most great teams they can afford to draft the best player available. so with that in mind i present to you the steelers draft:

1 (32) darius butler cb connecticut.
this would be a sweet 1st round pick, solid player who would push william gay and take over the nickle slot from townsend allowing him to move to safety when clark gets hurt again.

i wouldn't be surprised if pittsburgh picks up a lineman like alex mack or william beatty. but folks should be happy with the talented corner.

2 (64) paul kruger de utah.
i actually don't think he'll still be sitting here at the bottom of the second round but it would kick serious ass if he was. the 6'4 263 beast could learn behind arron smith and be a nightmare on special teams.

3 (96) fenuki tupou ot oregon.
imagine troy polamalu swallowed andy reid but was able to maintain some sense of mobility.

4 (132) alex magee de purdue.
yes my second d-line pick. got a problem with it?

5 (168) a.q. shipley c penn state.
i guess it's not ideal to have a center as tall as me, but this kid can flat out play, not to mention he's probably the smartest football player that didn't go to virginia.

5 (169) jasper brinkley ilb south carolina.
i graduated with james farrior, enough said.

6 (205) quinn johnson fb lsu

7 (226) john phillips te virginia.
imagine having another heath miller!!!

7 (241) tiquan underwood wr rutgers.
i had something clever to say here but i forgot....it had to do with blair underwood and acting of some sorts.

so there it is. i'll probably do a few more as prospects continue to visit.

quiz: bbc style

2009-04-03T07:30:00.000-05:00

a four.

so now they tell us

2009-03-28T22:38:00.001-05:00

this is a real headline on the bbc website:

god 'will not give happy ending'

and then a picture of this guy

mock draft 1.0

2009-03-26T06:35:00.002-05:00

usually i only do the draft picks for the steelers, but for this first one i will mock the top ten picks and the steelers 32nd pick.

1- Detroit Lions: Matt Stafford, QB, Georgia
2- St. Louis Rams: Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
3- Kansas City Chiefs: Aaron Curry, ILB, Wake Forest
4- Seattle Seahawks: Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia
5- Cleveland Browns: Brian Orakpo, DE/OLB, Texas
6- Cincinnati Bengals: Michael Johnson, DE, Georgia Tech
7- Oakland Raiders: Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
8- Jacksonville Jaguars: B.J. Raji, DT, Boston College
9- Green Bay Packers: Aaron Maybin, DE/OLB, Penn State
10-San Francisco 49ers: Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
32-Pittsburgh Steelers: Alex Mack, C, California

next week i will do all 7 rounds for the steelers, which i may add i'm pretty good at (remeber my jason capazzi prediction?)

quiz:bbc style

2009-03-20T06:37:00.001-05:00

damn, i take off for three weeks and it shows- a frick'n two!

it's been two weeks

2009-03-18T05:21:00.002-05:00

so roughly 336 hours ago, or 20,160 minutes, my hands are grabbing the wife's right leg and bringing her knees back towards her as she holds her breath and pushes our daughter kaya mae out from her insulated gestation hole that she's been playing in the past 39 weeks. i cut the cord. the wife smiled. the nurse was impressed that the wife used no drugs and displayed few signs of discomfort during her 56 minutes of labor. doctor helped the nurse clean and weigh the infant, 3.44 kg and 53 cm. all in all not a bad way to spend a wednesday morning despite all the blood, human waste, and random fluid- and that was just me.

two weeks into fatherhood and i feel no different. yes, i've had the phone conversations with mom, dad, uncles, and other parental types- congratulations, advice, and tons of gifts, yet two weeks into fatherhood, i feel no different.

i've done many fatherly deeds thus far, walked 14 blocks with the child in the baby-bjorn for her first check-up, changed a handful of foul smelling diapers, sung a few standards, watched highlights of the superbowl with her (my bp still spikes in the 4th quarter), and even read twelfth night while she attempted to sit on me. yet, two weeks and so on.

i know it's nothing to worry about. i mean in all honesty, what does feeling like a father or mother feel like? how can we measure a feeling? perhaps being a parent should feel no different than being yourself, other than a few responsibility things that last for the rest of your life.

at any rate, things are swell. everyone is happy. everyone is eating, sleeping, and shitting. as long as that continues there should be no worries.

it's been two weeks. only 2600 more to go...give or take a handful.

cramer on daily show

2009-03-14T10:35:00.000-05:00

update

2009-02-26T07:21:00.002-05:00

sorry, it's been a while. things have been crazy with the opening of our new gym two weeks ago and now with the wife having mild to painful contractions everyday. once normality returns i'll continue posting with a fever.

quiz: bbc style

2009-02-06T12:57:00.000-05:00

a four, oh so human.

a steelers six-pack

2009-02-02T05:52:00.006-05:00

wow, is about all i can say. my heart rate remains slightly elevated and it's been 7 hours. i watched the game at a uva buddies apartment. i couldn't watch at blondies due to the fact that my wife, who was forced to watch the game, is uber prego. kinda weird being the only steeler fan but the company was nice.

the game: looking back it was a great game, too close for my comfort and a higher score than i predicted- from sean's page-

I'll be wearing my Tomlin "Yes We Can" T-shirt underneath my Miller (Heath not Josh) Jersey. As for a score: Steelers 24 - Cards 17. Parker will have 67 yds no TDs, Moore, 75 total yds, Russell 14 yds 1 TD. Ben will throw for 230 yds, 1 TD, roughly 23-31. The D will have one TD. Warner will throw for 175 2 TDs, 3 INTs.

i was shocked that the running game never got going, but i loved the opening drive and the quick screens and short passes. how ben wasn't in the endzone i'll never know!! perhaps the refs were trying to make up for his td run in superbowl xl, which i thought was less obvious. a little surprised that tomlin didn't go for it, but it seemed to work out well once we jumped up 10-0. so many penalties!? on both sides, that was odd and tedious. james harrison is a mighty god. the second half consisted of several mild-to-severe heart attacks, all caused by larry fitzgerald save one; justin hartwig's hold in the endzone causing a safety instead of a 1st down. then i blacked-out and we won somehow. why must the steelers wait for the last few seconds in the 4th quarter to win? i don't need a well written dramatic thriller, i'll take a campy action flick when you know the outcome after the first 2 minutes.

favorite stat: gary russell- 2 att, -3 yds, 1 td.

the boss: bruce looks good for 75 year-old. did you see the roadie almost drop his guitar in the beginning? i was surprised that he didn't sing born in the usa, and what was with that busty chick in the red top that they kept cutting to?...oh, i just answered my own question.

the commercials: was it me or did they really suck? the 3-d ones were alright, but wow, what a waste of money...and did they seem overly violent? every commercial someone was getting hit, or thrown out of a window, it was like watching looney tunes.

quiz: bbc style

2009-01-31T19:18:00.001-05:00

six bitches. that's how many rushing yds arizona will have tomorrow.

tmi fridays

2009-01-30T08:55:00.006-05:00

i wanted to post this for the tmi thursdays which sean got me into reading, but i'm terribly lazy. at any rate, this was an email thread over the past few days between some people of mine (sorry for not asking first), the names have been changed to protect the unfortunate.

*warning* the following contains childish subject matter and adult language. do not read while eating, drinking, flirting, driving, pregnant, operating heavy machinery.

Justin Hartwig- On a side note, how do you people wipe yourselves at the toilet? I go through my legs, which I thought everyone did (I mean, I never really thought about it). But 'Lil Ben Roethlisberger (4ish year-old son) refuses to do this and instead will only approach the wipe from the outside. I figured he was doing it wrong, but heard someone tell a story that made me think that *I* do it wrong. I mean, I've never seen anyone else do it before. So do you people access the wipe through the five-hole, or do you do the reach-around?

Matt Spaeth- Five-hole.

Travis Kirschke- What? It's not a reach-around, it's a reach behind. I reach behind my ass, and it makes perfect sense. If you're doing the five-hole thing and wiping from front to back, this seems like a ridiculous waste of energy. You are contorting yourselves unnecessarily. The anal region is easier to reach via the butt cheek entrance than the wee-wee entrance.

Had you polled me on the 10,000 most likely directions in which this thread would go, ass-wiping would not have made the list.

Justin Hartwig- This is fascinating. So, we seem to be evenly split so far between reach-arounders (or, as Travis Kirschke insists, reach-behinders) and through-the-leggers. For the record, I think it is a hell of a lot easier access between the legs (hell, it's right there!) than going blindly around the back.

Limas Sweed- You can't go between!! You want shit all over your balls!?

Heath Miller- Amen. Reach behind is the only way to wipe. I assumed the entire world wiped this way.

Justin Hartwig- Agreed that I think we all assumed there was only one way of doing this. I have been shaken to my core and question the very fabric of my being. I called my brother and dad, and apparently they reach behind as well and had no idea why anyone would go through the legs. I must honestly say that I had never even considered going outside the bowl.

If you Google "how do you wipe your ass", the first site that comes up is instructive (from some website called, unfortunately for this query, Random Salad). The site appears to be defunct so you have to use the cached version, and it's missing a few pieces. But essentially, the author had the same realization that we did and surveyed about 250 people. He was floored that anyone went through the legs (as he says: "It just doesn't make sense, to me, that a person would do this and never once think, 'gee, what if I tried not pushing feces towards my genitals?'"). His survey showed that about 40% of men go through the legs. Also, at least some women also apparently go this way.

What I also found stunning is that the author doesn't look at the paper before tossing it down. What? PLEASE tell me that you all look at the paper. How do you know when you're done? I'm floored that someone would not look at the paper before depositing into the bowl. Then again, if you're going around back, you have to take the paper back around, avoiding contact with clothing. With the through-the-legs move, you can keep it in the bowl, and just move it a few inches to make eye contact and verify. Point for me and Matt Spaeth. I at least know that I am not alone in the world on the look-at-the-paper thing, because I distinctly remember watching a comedian on TV in middle school asking how blind people know when they're done wiping their ass ("Do they ask their wife? 'Honey... I need you to proofread something for me!' ").

This whole episode makes me wonder whether there are other things that we do that we just take for granted are the only way. Like, after yesterday's discovery, I feel that it would now be possible for someone to say, "WAAA? You ejaculate out of your penis? I cum out of my eyes! It's fantastic!" Is there anything else mundane that we do in complete privacy for our entire lives? The only thing I could think of that would come close is putting in and taking out contact lenses. Except I think I'm the only one of this group that wears them. On another aside, how am I the only one of us with (non-reading) glasses (unless heath Miller and Limas Sweed actually wear theirs regularly these days. Oh, wait- -maybe that means they have contacts, too).

Oh, and as far as what I do with my balls, I have no idea -- I'm just on auto-pilot. I will try to carefully observe next time and report back.

Matt Spaeth- WARNING!!! This email is pretty descriptive about poo. But if you've been reading this thread, you know that already.

Anyway, I took a dump this morning and experimented with both methods of wiping. I maintain that the through-the-legs method is more efficient.

First, I noticed that when wiping through the legs, the back of my wrist and hand just naturally push the teig & berries to the side and slightly upward, so they're already out of the way by the time the wiping begins.

Second, I found that the five-hole is simply more comfortable than the reach-around/behind. I assume that you're sitting hunched forward to begin with (I could be wrong). In that case, it's actually a bit awkward to reach behind.

Thirdly, and I think lastly, I agree with Justin Hartwig that the "proofreading" is the biggest advantage of the five-hole method. If you reach behind, you have to proof read either by bringing the TP around front, or by leaning way forward while still keeping your arm behind you and in the toilet. Perhaps I am particularly inflexible, but this actually caused shoulder discomfort.

I think that's it. Basically, it's whatever you're used to.

Limas Sweed- This is way too funny. Justin Hartwig, I do have contacts. I’ve had contacts since 89'. I prefer my glasses cause I have that sexy professor thing going. Matt Spaeth, I simply lean to my left and wipe. I’ve never had a problem checking the TP to see if I’m done, but I can also tell by the amount of friction during the wipe. I really hope everyone looks before they're done, gross.

Have you ever heard of people standing to wipe? It was mentioned in some god awful movie I saw.

Jeff Reed- Okay, I only read the first few paragraphs of Matt Spaeth's email, because I obviously suffer from some fecal phobia.

Anyway, the more "comfortable" thing sounds like crap because the way you've been accustomed to doing it will feel more comfortable with you regardless. We have been accustoming our left hands to perform the maneuver since what? 4 and 5 years old? When the neuromuscular system was at its most elastic and adaptable.

Secondly -- this notion of having to reach "all the way around" and "inefficiencies". You make it sound like we're doing something dramatic.

Stand up, right now. Hang your left arm down casually beside you. Now touch the seat of your pants with the pads of your middle, index, and ring fingers covering the portion that is over your asshole.

See? How hard was that? Now lift your hand so you can see your fingers. You've just performed the checking maneuver. Toss the TP away and repeat as necessary.

By the way, I remember from potty training I had the hardest time remembering not to throw used TP in the wastepaper basket instead of the toilet.

Matt Spaeth- Jeff Reed, you wipe standing up?

Jeff Reed- Now I'm so fucking confused it's insane. You can wipe sitting down?

Justin Hartwig- WHAAAAT? I'm confused now, too. You wipe standing up? This is getting close to eye-ejaculation territory. For the record, I sit down to wipe, which until this very minute I thought would be as necessary to say as "I sit down to drive." If I thought about it, sure, I guess conceivable one could stand up to drive, Segway style. But why would I ever think about it. Plus, then all the stuff just bunches up as soon as you stand, making your task more difficult.

Jeff Reed- 1. When you sit down to wipe, what do you sit down on? Is it your butt? I would think that would cause a problem.

2. Looking down now, I see that I stand with about a 2-foot separate between my feet (not a "wide stance"). I turn my ankles out just about 5 degrees and I bend my knees about an inch. This provides all the necessary clearances for most work, though on occasion in heavy duty circumstances I may lean my right hand on the sink and tip forward a little.

Now, as to "heavy duty circumstances." Do you know what obliviates the need for that, sometimes? As I stand up to wipe, sometimes I'll give a little bounce -- like the urinary "jiggle". Many's the time I've achieved cleaner and more complete separation.

So you just stick you hand in the toilet bowl or what?

Limas Sweed- What the fuck Jeff Reed? Do you cum out of your eye? I've never seen you drive standing up though, but i wouldn't put it pass you now.

Jeff Reed- Travis Kirschke, back me up on this.

Travis Kirschke- Sorry, dude. I sit 98% of the time. Perhaps the occasional hover.

This thread should come with one of those "Unsubscribe" links at the bottom. ;)

Jeff Reed- Well I'll be snookered. Someone's going to have to pantomime this for me one of those days.

No, don't send me a YouTube link.

Justin Hartwig- Turns out I use the left hand to cup, pull, and protect the goods, while the right hand goes in for the wipe. I clearly should never go to India.

Travis Kirschke- Ok, maybe I have a small toilet bowl/seat or something, but I don't see how you do this. I tried sticking my hand in there, and it was just too much crowding. Between thighs, genitals, toilet seat, and water, it's like Big Ben threading the needle to Hines in triple coverage! I felt like I was accidentally going to put my hand in the soup.

Matt Spaeth- Just Hartwig, if you need two hands to wipe, how do you hold your reading material?

Justin Hartwig- I consider the shit to be officially over when wipetime comes, the
reading material is either placed on the vanity or laundry hamper (home), or folded up and placed on the shelf made by the toilet paper protector so that I can place it back into my pocket during the industrial-sized flush to mask any sound made by rustling paper, for heaven forbid that anyone know I bring reading material into the
bathroom with me while I shit. For those of you who watch How I Met My Mother, it was completely ridiculous that Marshall would so openly and cavalierly carry a magazine with him to the john while negotiating a gauntlet of co-workers. If there's a co-worker even IN the bathroom when I enter I just go to the urinal and pretend to pee until the person leaves so that I can enter the stall in complete anonymity. Heaven forbid that anyone know I ever expel feces.

Travis Kirschke, as for your comment about threading the needle, I guess I can
only say that after three decades of practice, this comes as complete second nature (probably after three weeks of practice, actually). My hand just knows how deep to get so as to get below the bum yet remain above the soup. I would like to think that there is a good foot and a half between my hand and what lies below, but for all I know, a human hair could not fit between. Practice just makes perfect, I guess. I assume the same would be said about the things I fail to understand
about the mechanics of your guys' system.

By the way, I feel that this thread is a monumental moment in all of
our relationship. In a good way.

Matt Spaeth- At work, I just surf the internet on my blackberry. I used to do Sudoku, in which case I would fold up the paper and put it in my pocket. I agree about Marshall. However, I don't care if people at work know that I poop, but I
do feel slightly embarrassed conspicuously bringing in a magazine. I don't know about a good way, but in some way, yes.

Jeff Reed- Well, all I can say is I think my way sounds much more civilized. Not only am I not sticking my hand down into a toilet bowl and hoping there's enough clearance (what do you do in the case of a pile or a swirly?), but I feel that by doing it upright I am doing it in the manner of a sentient, evolved life form. Very odd to think that I may be one in 1,000 though.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to pop in Showgirls and rub my eyelids until my fingers get all sticky.

can you name all 44 presidents?

2009-01-23T13:06:00.003-05:00

for some reason i've thinking about this the for a while now and had i been more motivated i may have showcased the last 43 leading up to 1.20.09...but i'm lazy. but this morning i started thinking about the leaders of the free world. i was curious how many i knew. i've been able to name all 50 states and their capitals since the 5th grade (a really cool party trick...not really). so i started with 44 and worked my way down. i was pretty solid, i made it to fat man taft at 27, then it got quite questionable. give it a try and name them in order, forward or back.

can you collect them all? answers in comments.

quiz: bbc style

2009-01-22T17:37:00.001-05:00

a four.

it's a good week

2009-01-21T13:23:00.001-05:00

happy sunday

2009-01-19T12:26:00.002-05:00

yesterday was quite the eventful day for me. i didn't have to go into work, but i saw the snow and thought i better swing by to check up on things. i was able to get a few things done and ducked out by 10am so i could ready myself for my trip up to stratford, ct for my 3pm play perfomance. now mind you, two moths ago before i even accepted the role i checked the times and dates of the show and this past weekend was circled. at the time the steelers were looking good, but not 1st round bye good, a nice break since i had rehearsal that weekend. i knew with a little luck we'd be playing on the 18th, but i was worried about the time. the 6:30 start was a gift not to mention my play only runs 80 minutes.

our show ended at 4:23pm i changed so quickly that i had enough time to do a shot of marker's mark at the bar across the street before catching the 4:47 train back to nyc, at that time arizona was beating philly pretty bad, i was shocked.

6pm, i hop in a cab at 125th street and tell the driver to step on it, off to blondies we go. 6:20 i'm waiting outside the bar on 79th street with 45 other people trying to get into this packed bar. my back up plan is to go to another bar around the corner if i cannot enter for some reason, luckily the bartender noticed me outside and got me in just in time for kickoff.

3 hours and 6 iron city premium pounders later and we have ourselves another superbowl to win.

that game was great, troy was so ready to play it was beautiful, that stop on 4 and 1, wow. some odd calls from the officials: over turning holmes catch, ike taylor's pass interference in the endzone, and baltimore's roughing the punter. and the hits, oh the hits. even limas sweed laid out a raven after dropping a touchdown pass...although he had no choice. man i wish that kid could hold onto the damn ball.

and now we have two weeks of nothing but endless, meaningless talk...which i will begin tomorrow.

quiz: bbc style

2009-01-16T10:49:00.000-05:00

oh my goodness, i scored my first ever zero!!

life in nyc

2009-01-10T08:22:00.002-05:00

so it's 7:15 in the morning and i'm biking down columbus ave. to the gym. as i race by a group of young boys one of them shouts, "spandex wearing faggot! i'm going to fuck you up!"

part of me wanted to stop and say, "alright, fuck me up, but you realize your friends will make fun of you for weeks once you start crying." and then i thought to myself, well, i am wearing spandex.

quiz: bbc style

2009-01-09T09:56:00.000-05:00

the first quiz of the new year and i failed!! three.

holiday scuffle

2009-01-05T11:25:00.005-05:00

it's like every time there's a holiday in the middle east there's a war. perhaps due to the high volume of holidays or the high volume of tension. as you know by now, unless you've been living in a cave since 2001, israel has invaded the gaza strip to dispose of hamas once and for all. the past few weeks hamas has been launching rockets in israel and israel has been firing back with accuracy and greater death toll.

dispite international calls for an immediate cease-fire israel, with support from the bush house, has no intentions of letting up: defense minister ehud barak "obama" said that hamas has suffered a hard blow but "we still haven't reached our objectives."

what i find interesting is the different take on the war from various peoples: 1) my pregnant wife who spends most of the day reading news on every website in the world noticed how pro-israel the american coverage is; 2) i of course made it a point to find a balanced story, just to prove her wrong, so i turned to fox news!! not really; 3) i overheard two guys at my gym talking about how israel has no choice but to wipe them all out or they'll never be safe.

and of course the reactions will vary depending on location. i have friends with family in israel so of course i feel for them, but it doesn't change the fact that many innocent people are being killed and there is no apparent end in site: there's been major conflicts in the area since the dawn of time.

can a war ever truly be won or will it simply lay dormant like a parasitic larva waiting for the safest time to hatch?

happy new year

2008-12-31T16:20:00.004-05:00

as i sit in my office listening to edith piaf's hymne l'amour, slightly buzzed from a lunch filled with victory's hop devil, i realize that 2009 is going to present a world of change. not only will i be a father for the first and hopefully last time....

okay it is now a day later, i got busy with work mid thought, had to go play chess, race home to have dinner with wife, went to east side for a bach concert, and then headed back to the westside brewing co for it's last day.

i have no idea where i was going with that first paragraph so i'll leave it the way kafka left the castle, in the

random thoughts of stuff and what nots

2008-12-28T10:21:00.004-05:00

football- well the football season has come to a close as the final games kickoff sometime today. my steelers play a meaningless game against the sad sad browns. a game which does not change the playoffs for us one bit however if somehow we lose this game i will be sick to my groin knowing that everyone in cleveland is as happy as can be. if i were mike tomlin i would sit a few players for the whole game: james harrison, ryan clark, troy, and perhaps willie parker. i would play big ben at least for the 1st quarter. by the second half, i expect to see all back-ups, even anthony smith.

baby- so the wife and i bought a stroller the other day...some kind of frog buggaboo or something. it's a little weird seeing that thing everyday. i told her not to be surprised if she comes home to find me drunk and pushing myself in the stroller.

guinea- i must admit i am quite intrigued by capt camara. i hope he turns out to be the real deal and doesn't let the power go to his head like every single military leader that's ever taken over a country especially in africa.

westside brewing company- my beloved bar is closing down on new year's eve after years of internal bitching between the two owners, and a dick for a landlord. ah the good times i had over the years: chess games, 12 hour drinking sessions, random making out with women i normally would never ever ever kiss, guitar playing on the patio, and the 12 o'clock noon beer while i'm suppose to be at work. not to mention my food and drinks were always half-off.

sag- i received another residual check for michael clayton! okay, this is getting silly. my union is talking about a strike, due to the whole internet thing and fighting for a fair contract. i don't know the details as much as i should but i know i don't want to strike, but i also don't want to get fucked over. on another note, i have to cast my votes for the sag awards by january 23rd, and my vote does go to the highest bidder.

how did i not see this???- vader sessions

2008-12-19T17:57:00.001-05:00

ANNUAL SCREEN ACTORS GUILD AWARDS

2008-12-18T11:44:00.003-05:00

predictions in bold

THEATRICAL MOTION PICTURES

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role

RICHARD JENKINS / Walter Vale - “THE VISITOR” (Overture Films)
FRANK LANGELLA / Richard Nixon - “FROST/NIXON” (Universal Pictures)
SEAN PENN / Harvey Milk - “MILK” (Focus Features)
BRAD PITT / Benjamin Button - “THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON” (Paramount Pictures)
MICKEY ROURKE / Randy - “THE WRESTLER” (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role

ANNE HATHAWAY / Kym - “RACHEL GETTING MARRIED” (Sony Pictures Classics)
ANGELINA JOLIE / Christine Collins - “CHANGELING” (Universal Pictures)
MELISSA LEO / Ray Eddy - “FROZEN RIVER” (Sony Pictures Classics)
MERYL STREEP / Sister Aloysius Beauvier - “DOUBT” (Miramax Films)
KATE WINSLET / April Wheeler - “REVOLUTIONARY ROAD” (Paramount Vantage)

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role

JOSH BROLIN / Dan White - “MILK” (Focus Features)
ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. / Kirk Lazarus - “TROPIC THUNDER” (Paramount Pictures)
PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN / Father Brendan Flynn - “DOUBT” (Miramax Films)
HEATH LEDGER / Joker - “THE DARK KNIGHT” (Warner Bros. Pictures)
DEV PATEL / Older Jamal - “SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE” (Fox Searchlight Pictures)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role

AMY ADAMS / Sister James - “DOUBT” (Miramax Flms)
PENÉLOPE CRUZ / Maria Elena - “VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA” (The Weinstein Company)
VIOLA DAVIS / Mrs. Miller - “DOUBT” (Miramax Films)
TARAJI P. HENSON / Queenie - “THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON” (Paramount Pictures)
KATE WINSLET / Hanna Schmitz - “THE READER” (The Weinstein Company)

Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture

DOUBT (Miramax)
FROST/NIXON (Universal Pictures)
MILK (Focus Features)
SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (Fox Searchlight Pictures)
THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON (Paramount Pictures)

PRIMETIME TELEVISION

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries

RALPH FIENNES / Bernard Lafferty - “BERNARD AND DORIS” (HBO)
PAUL GIAMATTI / John Adams - “JOHN ADAMS” (HBO)
KEVIN SPACEY / Ron Klain - “RECOUNT” (HBO)
KIEFER SUTHERLAND / Jack Bauer - “24: REDEMPTION” (FOX)
TOM WILKINSON / Benjamin Franklin - “JOHN ADAMS” (HBO)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Movie or Miniseries

LAURA DERN / Katherine Harris - “RECOUNT” (HBO)
LAURA LINNEY / Abigail Adams - “JOHN ADAMS” (HBO)
SHIRLEY MacLAINE / Coco Chanel - “COCO CHANEL” (Lifetime)
PHYLICIA RASHAD / Lena Younger - “A RAISIN IN THE SUN” (Lifetime)
SUSAN SARANDON / Doris Duke - “BERNARD AND DORIS” (HBO)

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series

MICHAEL C. HALL / Dexter Morgan - “DEXTER” (Showtime)
JON HAMM / Don Draper - “MAD MEN” (AMC)
HUGH LAURIE / Gregory House - “HOUSE” (FOX)
WILLIAM SHATNER / Denny Crane - “BOSTON LEGAL” (ABC)
JAMES SPADER / Alan Shore - “BOSTON LEGAL” (ABC)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series

SALLY FIELD / Nora Walker - “BROTHERS & SISTERS” (ABC)
MARISKA HARGITAY / Det. Olivia Benson - “LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT” (NBC)
HOLLY HUNTER / Grace Hanadarko - “SAVING GRACE” (TNT)
ELISABETH MOSS / Peggy Olson - “MAD MEN” (AMC)
KYRA SEDGWICK / Dep. Chief Brenda Johnson - “THE CLOSER” (TNT)

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series

ALEC BALDWIN / Jack Donaghy - “30 ROCK” (NBC)
STEVE CARELL / Michael Scott - “THE OFFICE” (NBC)
DAVID DUCHOVNY / Hank Moody - “CALIFORNICATION” (Showtime)
JEREMY PIVEN / Ari Gold - “ENTOURAGE” (HBO)
TONY SHALHOUB / Adrian Monk - “MONK” (USA)

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series

CHRISTINA APPLEGATE / Samantha Newly - “SAMANTHA WHO?” (ABC)
AMERICA FERRERA / Betty Suarez - “UGLY BETTY” (ABC)
TINA FEY / Liz Lemon - “30 ROCK” (NBC)
MARY-LOUISE PARKER / Nancy Botwin - “WEEDS” (Showtime)
TRACEY ULLMAN / Various Characters - “TRACEY ULLMAN’S STATE OF THE UNION” (Showtime)

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series

BOSTON LEGAL (ABC)
DEXTER (Showtime)
HOUSE (Fox)
MAD MEN (AMC)
THE CLOSER (TNT)

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series

30 ROCK (NBC)
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (ABC)
ENTOURAGE (HBO)
THE OFFICE (NBC)
WEEDS (Showtime)

SAG HONORS FOR STUNT ENSEMBLES

Outstanding Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Motion Picture

THE DARK KNIGHT (Warner Bros. Pictures)
HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (Universal Pictures)
INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL (Paramount Pictures)
IRON MAN (Paramount Pictures)
WANTED (Universal Pictures)

Outstanding Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Television Series

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS (NBC)
HEROES (NBC)
PRISON BREAK (FOX)
THE UNIT (CBS)
THE CLOSER (TNT)

SCREEN ACTORS GUILD’S 45th LIFE ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

James Earl Jones

quiz: bbc style

2008-12-18T10:56:00.001-05:00

woe is me i managed a simple three.

best t-shirt ever

2008-12-16T06:59:00.002-05:00

orders yours today at compress merch.

quiz: bbc style

2008-12-11T13:41:00.001-05:00

the score is four, can you correctly guess more?

death by karaoke

2008-12-05T07:43:00.003-05:00

a malaysian man has been stabbed to death at a bar in sandakan, a town in east borneo, for refusing to hand over the mic and stop singing. witnesses told police the fight went into the street where the 23 year-old was punched and stabbed.

i guess he was simply dying to express himself. perhaps he was singing mack the knife. or maybe he was out of tune with the audiences needs.

too soon?

quiz: bbc style

2008-12-04T16:16:00.000-05:00

a three. i guess it's better than a two, which in turn is better than a one.

It's on Bitch!

2008-12-02T09:27:00.001-05:00

Let the recount begin!! Long time racist and senator, Saxby Chambliss, is racing a run-off election today against Jim Martin, who looked quite awkward thanking hip hop artists T.I., Jeezy, and Ludacris for their support during a rally in the ATL.

Palin reared her pretty head all over Georgia campaigning and firing up the base- an Republican strategist confessed she only did it for the sax. Chambliss should have no problem winning today as run-offs are based on turnout and I don't see Black folks coming out today the way they did on November 3rd, not to mention the fact that Libertarian candidate, Allen Buckley, will not (I think) be on the ballot.

In other news Bobby Jindal, the Republican governor of the great state of Louisiana, gave his best Obama impression which leads many to assume he'll be the front runner in 2012 (sorry Sarah): "I think the American people are tired of campaigns and politics," Jindal said. "We need to get behind our new president and our new Congress, support them, and stop being Democrats and Republicans."

quiz: bbc style

2008-11-28T10:51:00.001-05:00

im asshamed to say that i scored a one.

thanks and what nots

2008-11-27T11:51:00.002-05:00

happy turkey. a few things i am thankful for:

1) not being in mumbai. as of now roughly 125 are dead and at least 300 injured.

2) not being a detroit lions fan. they're 0-11 and have a real solid shot and losing the remaining 5 games.

3) i am thankful for my wife being pregnant and not me.

quiz: bbc style

2008-11-21T09:09:00.000-05:00

i missed the first four and answered the final three.

no ocho cinco but plenty of number 86

2008-11-20T12:41:00.002-05:00

the ap just reported that chad ocho cinco will be deactivated for tonight's game against the pittsburgh stillers for breaking some team rule. therefore, look for ike taylor to man up on houshmandzadeh. on the flip side of the coin, if the bengals play a cover 2 like the last 3 defenses did against us, hines ward and matt spaeth will have a field day underneath.

quiz: bbc style

2008-11-14T11:46:00.001-05:00

a five!!! i came so frickin close to a 7 it's almost funny.

home birth v hospital

2008-11-12T09:43:00.003-05:00

okay until about 9pm last night i assumed delivering your child at a hospital was the normal thing to do: i was born in a hospital, my brother, and so on. the wife asked me to watch this documentary, the business of being born (which is available on "watch now" in netflix), and now i'm all for the home birth. it's almost illogical not to on so many levels.

i'll simply hit the main points: midwives deliver babies and doctors perform surgery, c-sections account for 45% of births in the u.s. compared to 7% in most european countries, and finally: a study comparing home and hospital birth- midwives and family doctors attended the homebirths; obgyns and family doctors attended hospital births. within the hospital group, the fetal distress rate was 6 times higher. maternal hemorrhage was 3 times higher. limp, unresponsive newborns arrived 3 times more often. neonatal infections were 4 times as common. there were 30 permanent birth injuries caused by doctors.

i also learned that my insurance company covers home births, so why spend 13,000 going to a hospital that wants to turn over beds like a restaurant at dinner versus 4,000 and the comfort of your own home and your own terms?

one last fun fact: the number of c-sections triples at 4 and 10pm. doctor, "i wanna go home....i'm not staying up all night for this."

on a side note: the wife and i got into a hypothetical fight over circumcision, i demand it she refuses. i guess it's a good thing were having a girl.

quiz: bbc style

2008-11-07T09:24:00.000-05:00

a four. i'll live.

election results

2008-11-05T09:45:00.004-05:00

d barack obama 52% 62,653,104
r john mccain 46% 55,535,756
i ralph nader 1% 643,857
lb bob barr 1% 481,790
i chuck baldwin 0% 172,111
gr cynthia mckinney 0% 140,045
ai alan keyes 0% 34,325
lt ron paul 0% 19,285
sx gloria la riva 0% 7,154
sw roger calero 0% 7,113
nd none of these candidates 0% 6,246
su brian moore 0% 6,207
i richard duncan 0% 3,528
sw james harris 0% 2,372
bt charles jay 0% 2,291
n john joseph polachek 0% 1,290
lo jason strong null% 0

i'm a little pissed off that alan keyes received more votes than me- seriously i want to meet the 34 thousand people that voted for keyes and just say- "really?" also, if you didn't know cynthia mckinney is a black woman so barack and palin had nothing on her.

lets see what parties we had cause i don't get half to those abbreviations: lb libertarian, gr green, ai american independent party, sw socialist workers party, bt boston tea party, lo logic party, n new party, su socialist party, sx party for socialism and liberation, lt liberty party.

get your vote on!!

2008-11-04T16:13:00.001-05:00

quiz: bbc style

2008-10-30T17:08:00.000-05:00

five more days.

hellfire

2008-10-28T10:53:00.001-05:00

political quiz: bbc style

2008-10-28T05:53:00.001-05:00

got a 7 (it's out of 10 so i'm still not perfect).

greg warren's acl

2008-10-27T10:32:00.002-05:00

i'm pretty upset about the steelers lost yesterday to the giants and it doesn't help that i live in nyc and had to listen to my co-workers cheers all morning. i actually thought we would lose this game (i figured we'd split the next 4 games for a 7-3 record). but the way we played up until the 4 quarter was beautiful. 14-9, all we have to do is sustain a drive...or be able to snap the ball. question: why is pro-bowl linebacker james harrison the backup long snapper when we have 3 centers on the team?

8 years later

2008-10-26T07:42:00.001-05:00

my buddy over at nbc was given the dvd of this to try and air friday, but nbc said no it's too much like a commercial and msnbc didn't even look at it. keith, your producer had this friday afternoon!!!

quiz: bbc style

2008-10-23T16:39:00.001-05:00

damn! got the first five missed the last two.

our zygote's chromosomes are.....

2008-10-23T06:34:00.002-05:00

so the wife is now 20 weeks along in our lab experiment and we had another ultra sound thing yesterday to determine the sex and other fun stuffs. so the cute doctor puts the cold gel on the wife and dims the lights...there it is on the big screen. moving around, heart beating (that's good), hands opening and closing (that's good too i learned), lips, a nose, two legs, and two....x chromosomes. what the f*#k, not two testicles? yep, it's a girl the doc says, i asked her to check again. it's still a girl. is it possible the balls aren't finished cooking yet? perhaps it's chilly? how did this happen?

well: the male gametes are heterogametic and contain one of two types of sex chromosomes. they are either x or y. the female gametes however, contain only the x sex chromosome and are homogametic. the sperm cell determines the sex of an individual in this case. if a sperm cell containing an x chromosome fertilizes an egg, the resulting zygote will be xx or female. if the sperm cell contains a y chromosome, then the resulting zygote will be xy or male.

thanks, that helps. she's still playing football.

quiz: bbc style

2008-10-17T09:21:00.000-05:00

a three, and i'm very happy with it.

mccain 08

2008-10-16T09:47:00.001-05:00

klugman! klugman! klugman!

2008-10-13T10:45:00.003-05:00

paul krugman teaches at princeton and writes for that east-coast elitist liberal paper called the new york times, so it should be no surprise that he argues bush's economic policies helped lead us to our current financial global f*%kshow. come on krugman, you're just some liberal jerk who doesn't know main street- if you're so smart why don't you win an award for theories on free markets or something- oh, what's that, you did?

the royal swedish academy of sciences awards krugman the nobel prize for economics for his analysis of trade patterns and where economic activity takes place.

speaking on the f*%kshow: "i'm slightly less terrified today than i was on friday. we are now witnessing a crisis that is as severe as the crisis that hit asia in the 90s. this crisis bears some resemblance to the great depression."

this global recession

2008-10-10T12:27:00.006-05:00

i'm not much of a financial genius. i've been known to lose money playing cards, consistently betting on the steelers, spending a couple thousand dollars on beer just to brag about keeping a beerlog, and of course there was my nigerian prince who needed a few bucks to escape tyranny (he's giving me a ton of money though!). but since i got married and knocked-up the wife i find myself responsible for more than just the overgrown man-child that is i.

so what the fuck happened? well, it looks as if things went down in 2002 when the democrats blocked a few regulations on the folks on wall st. then in 2005 chuck hagel tried once again to control the big boys and the legislation failed. two years ago it was the dems turn to be noble and warn against companies like fred and fan, but again nothing was done. and now...well the shit hit the fan, most banks world wide and thousands of people lost their jobs, yet some assholes at the top of their firms took a few million in bonuses before they bailed out...good move.

now what? the 700 billion rescue plan has passed and still president bush is calming the nation and world as i write. the 7b plan will help, in my opinion despite the fact that it's an awful bill filled with useless bullshit, but we need an actual solution to restore confidence in the american markets which will in turn restore the global economy.

how is this accomplished? i know we love our free markets, but i think it's time we take what's worked for us and what's worked for other superpowers and find some common ground. the government is going to have to be more involved in our markets. i'm not calling for a socialist reform but we need to have restrictions, we need to have regulation, and we need to have accountability; simply put- if you run your company into the ground by lying to investors and fixed books your ass is going to jail and you will be fined heavily. with that said, we need not lose our capitalist drive, our need to invest in foreign and domestic markets, invent new technologies, and create new jobs.

what do i do? if you're like the wife and i you have only a few modest investments (ie less than 500,000 dollars). it's not so bad if you're young and do not plan on retiring for 30 plus years- of course our stocks are way down and the 401k is taking a slight beating, but that doesn't mean you touch anything. in fact i actually increased my 401k contrabution (remember it's tax-free and most companies offer a 10-15 perfect match). as for the stocks: if you sell them now you will never see that lost money again, on the flipside, you keep them and the market crashes and it's all gone. the question you need to ask yourself is, are you feeling lucky punk? (i was so waiting to say that!) it's simple, if the 700 billion is used effectively, the markets will slowly turn around in about 9-12 months and in roughly 1-3 years your portfolio will be strong once again. now if you do need that money because you're retiring soon, i'm sorry. hopefully you already moved most of your investments out of stocks and into bonds a few years ago. as for the stocks, dump what you have and live with the hit.

well that's about all i know, hope it helped or at least entertained. let us all follow common sense: don't invest/spend borrowed money.

quiz: bbc style

2008-10-10T10:39:00.000-05:00

a four. i'll live with it.

register to vote

2008-10-08T12:47:00.002-05:00

it's 27 days before the most important election of your life, are you registered? if not please do so here, regardless of how you plan to vote (may i suggest writing me in). most states require that you register 25 days before the election you desire to participate in.

in other political news: the debate last night was boring, but the edge goes to obama mainly because mccain didn't win. the national polls have obama ahead 6-7 points and leading in most "toss-up" states which all happen to be red states bush won in '04. another poll suggests that palin is pushing women voters back to obama/biden, ouch.

happy democracy